How is it a person can feel so disappointed in themselves, but yet do so little to change what they've been doing that got them there? Its like I go through the motions everyday and then go to bed because I'd rather be living in my dreams. In my dreams where I get up on time, walk out the door feeling presentable and confident when an extra 10 minutes to get coffee before class. In my dreams where I can sit through a lecture and just care enough about whats being said that I can take notes that mean something when I actually do go back to study from them. Dreams where I stop at the gym on my way home, study a bit or read a book sitting over a healthy dinner I made myself. Maybe even dreams that include somebody to share that with.
I wish I go back to bed tonight, and just wake up in my life the exact way I'd envisioned it. Or at least I wish I could go to bed knowing I'll wake up and just BE happy, when whatever I do or don't have.
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